God bless those noble Mounties.

I don't wish to be mistaken for a whinger. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love Canada and it's marvelous quirks. From the heavily sexualised love of the noble beaver..


A beaver post-orgy.


Little known fact: the legal age of consent for beaver sex is a whole year lower than heterosexual sex in this country.

To their astonishing blood rage at the sight of a harmless squirrel...

The native squirrel is maligned for it's affluence and hedonistic lifestyle.


Before the charter was introduced squirrel lynchings were a communal focal point much like book burnings in Nazi Germany.

But nothing amazes me more than the reverence for their national and omnipresent police force the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Some are mistaken to think that the Mounties are named thus because of the some link to the policing of mountains back in the dawn of civilisation. The reality is that the name Mountie comes from the fact that every one of force's members mounts horses.

Little Known fact: the red colour of the Mountie's formal uniform is so that when shot a dying mountie won't cause a fuss, like all good Canadians.

Anywho the last few parties have been shut down due to the Mounties coming and getting all uppity. But here are some pictures of parties that survived the wroth of the most feared Canadians long enough for me to get some snaps.

Martijn had a pretty awesome tappas party. I tried to poison people with vegemite and toasted cheese on french bread but they didn't seem to mind it. I can only blame alcohol for this.


MUAHAHAHA with all this tappas the Dutch shall once again rule the colonies!


Boozehounds the lot of them.


Our host drinking some vino. Check out the left corner for some picture of picture post-modern stuff from Nick.

The next night was off to Barcode where a lot of people came for cheap booze and stayed for the hilarious stripping competition.








Friday night was the Dutch party where orange was the new black. This party was so good it was illegal.

Yeah that's a pretty reddish orange there guys..



Saturday night was to be the long awaited 3rd Mexican party. Unfortunately the wicked RA witch came and broke it up way too early. So we were forced to go drink in Totem with all the underage sex fiends.






Sunday I recovered at the Science Museum where we probably scarred any spanish speaking children with some lewd comments on the PixelPins.


Dumb and Dumber in action.

This exhibit is actually an elaborate ruse to steal my original thoughts. Joke's on them though I don't have any!

There isn't much left this semester but hopefully there will be a few more good parties to attend. I've got the vast majority of my assessment coming up in the next 4 weeks but it's all good, it's just law.

Somone always ruins it for the rest of us.

So I was out on the town last night for some sober reflection and chaste square dancing. An enjoyable time was had by all and 1.50 highballs served as sufficient social lubricant to maintain the delusion that we are all attractive and worthwhile human beings, for me at least.

As we are want to do on such occaisions late night hamburger sandwiches were to be purchased and consumed in an orderly manner. Thus our spirits were lifted with the prospect of nutritious and well made McDonalds meat sandwiches. Unfortunately we had the misfortune to have been joined on the public transit bus by a fellow of less than desirable level of class and situation. I have offered below a photo-realistic impression of the gent.


You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a picture of a monkey flinging its own shit. Seriously Google Image search has failed for the first time.

This fellow was to join us in our early morning repast. This turned out to be a critical turning point in the evening because unbeknown to us he had imbibed far too much liquor and was of a rowdy disposition. When it came time for him to be served by the lackeys he decided to argue and insult the gent at the service point which really is quite poor form.


Having summered in the colonies last year I can assure you gentle reader that a randy rhino displays more subtlety and social graces than this chap did.

The end result of this was that the lackey decided to deny the rest of our fine, well-manered, group service and most went home empty handed. Thus I am forced to question the basic humanity of such a person. When you see images like this...


and realise that even the most basic of animals can have more social skills than some drunk humans.

Boring old UBC.

Everyone has exams, that is everyone except me. It certainly seems like it at the moment with nothing much happening around campus. The halls and commons are quieter and I'm bored because I don't have any midterms. Oh sure I have papers but they don't have a due date, at least not one less than a month away. Nonetheless in a move that can only be the result of self-delusion on a grand scale I have undertaken to start my papers while nothing else is happening. Easier said than done.

I decided to start with a paper on Aristotle's view of slavery that has been percolating for a while. Since then I have written the equivalent of a page (the required length of the paper) in scraps and rewrites. I have not yet completed a draft though. The paper has been sitting there in my taskbar for over a week now (saved because i'm not stupid). Every now and again it pops up when I hastily switch between my browser and a video or msn chat but these occurences are rare, always accidental and hastily rectified.

Oh sure I frequently sit down purposefully with no thought on my mind but to progress with my thesis. This purpose dissolves the minute my cursor hovers over MSN or whatever the distraction of the minute reveals itself to be. And always there in the background the cursor sits waiting in the document, winking at me so as not to laugh outright and raise my ire.

So the paper is undone and I clearly can't talk anymore to my smug computer so where does that leave me? Bored and sick from having gone out 4 nights in a row last week. Boring old UBC indeed.

This is a hockey game I went to last week. The UBC Thunderbirds put on a credible display against some hick team from Calgary but really the highlight of the game was the animosity on display. There were numerous send-offs but the highlight in my opinion was when the entire UBC team was put in the penalty box along with the Calgary team while the Refs sorted out what to do with them.

"Man I hate those Calgary guys....they keep trying to score!"


"We just want to be loved too, what's all the hate abooot."

I also went to Lynne Canyon with David and Carlos and was to be quite honest dissapointed. Apparently the Capilano bridge (which costs money) is longer but really is it 17 bucks longer?

For once it was an accident. Carlos' eyes are closed because he's scared of heights.


The actual scenery was gorgeous and there are some great walks around the canyon itself.